Finding hidden or otherwise unavailable headmates may be an initial focus of a newly realized plural system. Occasionally headmates may walk away or go deeper inside of the system, and depending on how the system functions this may be positive or negative. There are ways to keep a system functioning, and make sure all members are happy and accounted for.
- Some members may disappear after a period of time, or go dormant. Often simply thinking about the system member may trigger them to wake up and return, but after a long time this may become harder to do. Creating images or being near physical objects the system member was associated with may help awaken a person, or asking others in the system to find a particular member. However there are those who might not be woken by any method and may simply need time to reappear.
- Recording new members and their appearances is a good way to figure out what and who is in the system, especially for steadily growing or larger systems. Whether virtually or physically recorded, knowing who's who and where they came from can make it easier to figure out who's fronting during times of blending, or just help remember specific facts about said headmate.
- Taking time out to get to know the new headmate is also a good way to form positive bonds and understand them.
- For those who may be aggressive or hostile to communication efforts, approaching from a different angle (or sometimes not at all!) can work. Speaking in pure thoughts and images, instead of words, or leaving or buying physical items for them can be helpful and warm a headmate up, however if they seem wary of any kind of communication the best thing to do might be remind them that you're always up to talk, and then simply leave them alone. If a particular member is extremely hostile, aggressive or violent this could be a sign of deeper issues inside or outside the system. If it's not too difficult, ask other members inside the system if everything is alright, and be open to their responses. Figuring out if there's been any recent disturbances to the system may provide some needed answers, especially if this is not the way said headmate usually is. Try not to be judgmental or aggressive in turn. Volatile system members are often that way for a reason, and can be reasoned with, even if it takes time and effort.
- If the system switches often, create places for system members to go and relax. Some members may become stressed from constant interaction or work, and need a place to go.